the time has come to leave this place. to leave behind the streets and sounds, the sights and smells of a thousand painful memories. I had an interview at a place where a close friend of mine works. it went well so i think i'll be offered the job. from the sound of things, everyone else is more excited about it than i am. i'm really trying to be happy about this. i'm trying very very hard. but this is a huge change and its coming at a time when i'm questioning everything about myself and my life to this point. someone once said to me "here's to no regrets" to which i replied "here's to a million regrets but a new beginning". well, i guess now its 1,000,001. every single day is a reminder of all my failures and all the people i've hurt along the way. maybe if i leave this all behind, i'll finally be able to sleep at night.

if this works out, i'll have a lot of work to do. i won't have much time to say my goodbyes, and there are a few people i really need to say goodbye to, a few people i'll never see or talk to again. i have to tie up all the loose ends. there are things i can't leave unfinished. i hope that, once this is done and i'm gone, this won't hurt anymore. i'd like to be able to feel good again, or at least to not feel this. i'd like to be able to write again. i long for the day when i can enjoy the things i love again.